I had an epiphany yesterday, and I think that if I don’t write it down, it’ll disappear into the ether. While this article is written mostly for me, I think many people would also benefit from my epiphany, so I thought I’d share: “No one will save you from doing.”
Here’s the thing: ask anyone what they need to do to improve their life, and they’ll probably give you a laundry list of things they know they should be doing, but somehow…aren’t. In my life, I know if I meditated more, exercised more, slept earlier, reduced my TV time, drank more water, dedicated more time to learning—and a whole other list of actions—I’d be far ahead of where I am now. But somehow, I don’t do it. I talk myself out of it, convince myself that this isn’t the time and that I just need to read one more book, watch one more video, or wait until conditions are just right. Then I’ll do it.
Now, what you might be thinking: what usually stands in the way of our actions? From my perspective, people’s reasons fall into one of two groups: external friction or internal friction. I use “friction” deliberately because, like physical friction, these forces cause resistance between you and the action you want to take. This resistance often manifests as either external obstacles or internal struggles.
Before discussing how to overcome these forms of resistance, let’s examine the two factors that make taking action so challenging.
External Factors: How Problems
As the term suggests, external factors are things outside of you that make it harder to take action. These include environmental factors, other people, responsibilities, lack of resources, and so on. Sometimes, even poor time management can be a factor here, depending on which aspects of time management are at play. For example, a lack of proper planning tools or time itself can be considered external factors.
When the problem is external friction, resistance can usually be seen as a how problem. How do I create more time? How do I tailor my environment? How do I get the resources I need? Tackling external resistance tends to call for tactical approaches, like using tools, implementing strategies, or making structural changes to help us overcome these obstacles.
Internal Factors: Why Problems
On the other hand, internal factors come from within you. These include your mindset, emotions, thoughts, and beliefs—often the reasons behind why we hesitate or resist. Solving internal resistance typically involves less tactical approaches and more introspective work, like mindset shifts, cognitive-behavioral strategies, clarifying goals, and defining personal meaning.
Internal resistance is often a why problem. Why are we hesitating? Why is this action meaningful to us? Why are we resisting, even though we know it’s for our own good? Addressing these internal frictions can be challenging, but they’re crucial for long-term progress and often require shining a light on problematic aspects of ourselves.
How to Overcome Resistance
In science, we’re taught that overcoming friction requires making it easier for two objects to move against each other. Overcoming resistance to action works similarly. We can reduce external friction through practical steps, like using a planner, reducing distractions, or implementing a new strategy. The truth is, there are endless strategies and tools out there. Many self-help books focus on these tools, hacks, and techniques. People spend tons of time buying, implementing, and sometimes discarding these tools, only to start the search for the next thing that’s supposed to be easier or better.
However, applying solutions to internal resistance often gets glossed over or completely overlooked. Reflection is hard. It sometimes requires us to confront difficult truths. Reflection can also seem like stalling to the outside world. For instance, when you’re journaling about a fear of failure, the work you’re doing is invisible to others—it doesn’t look like progress. Still, introspective work is essential for addressing your why problems and aligning your actions with your values.
Just Do the Thing
Here’s the real truth: whether you’re tackling external friction with practical steps or addressing internal friction through introspection, you still need to take action. Neither the how nor the why solutions will save you from doing the work.
For example, if you’ve decided that going to the gym is your action, then no matter how much you’ve planned, paid for a trainer, or addressed your internal relationship with fitness, at some point, you’ll need to actually show up and exercise. We often find ourselves focusing on everything around the action itself, but eventually, working on the internal and external factors becomes its own form of resistance—a way to distract ourselves from the actual work.
I’m not saying you should force yourself to take action mindlessly, but the reality is you won’t always feel enthusiastic about taking action. Especially at the beginning, when things are still uncomfortable and you’re finding your rhythm. The only way to build momentum is to work through those first hard days until it’s no longer quite as awkward. It’s not that people who go to the gym every day always want to go or that it becomes easy—they just stick with it until it becomes part of their routine, or they’ve proven to themselves that it’s worth it.
How to Apply This in Your Life
Ask yourself: what is one thing you know you should be doing? There’s that famous motivational quote: “One day, or day one.” And the well-known AA phrase, “One day at a time.” With these in mind, consider just doing the thing today.
No, you may not feel motivated. Yes, you might prefer to wait for better conditions. But unless you’re waiting for a genuine safety measure, is there a way you could start now? I’m not suggesting you ignore legitimate concerns like physical exhaustion or the need for rest. But at some point, you have to ask yourself: For how long will I wait? For how long will I suspend my life? When will I ever be 100% ready?
Often, the answer is “never.” One way I phrase this with my clients is: Do it as a favor to your future self. We tend to put things off for tomorrow’s self—the self who will “deal with it” later. But imagine doing it today, even if only a tiny piece so that you can be on day two instead of day one tomorrow.
Final Thoughts: No One Will Save You from Action
At the end of the day, no one will go to the gym for you. No one will drink more water for you. No one will start that project or take those classes for you. These things fall squarely in the jurisdiction of “my actions,” and maybe it’s time to stop waiting and just do the thing. I’ll end with the classic Nike quote because it couldn’t be more fitting: “Just do it.”
Thank you for reading my article. I hope you find it helpful and motivating. Feel free to return to it anytime and share it with anyone you think might need it.
Until next time,
Stay safe, good luck, and happy acting.
